Mass Effect 3 Citadel Trailer: A Closer Look
And so the end has finally come. By this time tomorrow, Mass Effect 3: Citadel will be out, and Commander Shepard’s story will officially be over. There are a lot of mixed emotions in the Save Game office (my living room) right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, right? Let take a closer look at the brand new trailer for Citadel.
Earlier today, Bioware released a trailer for their final piece of Mass Effect DLC, Citadel. I combed through it frame by frame, and through guts, determination, and a raging case of OCD, I’ve put together this analysis for you. If you’ve come this far, I’m going to assume you’re cool with spoilers. But just in case, lemme warn you: there are spoilers in this trailer analysis. Many spoilers. Who knows, maybe even spoilers for things that aren’t related to Mass Effect. So if you’re scared, turn back now. To the rest of you: welcome. Get comfy. You’re gonna be here awhile.
The opening shot of the Citadel trailer is of, appropriately enough, the Citadel. This is a new docking area for the Normandy, and harkens back to the original Mass Effect, where you could actually walk around the docking bay and observe the Normandy from a catwalk. Maybe they’re bringing this nifty little feature back?
And here we have Shepard’s swingin new pad. A voiceover from Admiral Anderson says that he’s giving Shepard the apartment to make sure he’s at his best, or stays sharp, or… whatever. Who cares. IT HAS A BAR! I wonder if Shepard will get to mix his own drinks again. We just happen to have a handy guide, in case he feels like making some refreshments for this team.
The camera then fades to Liara T’Soni, elsewhere in Shepard’s place, running her hands along a piano. This immediately made this imagine Liara and Shepard singing a sexy duet, just like Michelle Pfeiffer and Jeff Bridges in The Fabulous Baker Boys.
Yes, I know I have a problem. Moving on.
We then see Shepard and Tali, chilling out, watching a movie. Any player who made a habit of eavesdropping on NPCs in Mass Effect 2 will recognize the movie as Fleet and Flotilla, the interspecies romantic drama that a lovelorn Turian mentions to impress a rather disinterested Quarian in an Illium bar.
First glimpsed in a piece of teased concept art, we finally get to see the Silver Coast Casino as it really looks in-game. And I gotta tell ya, it looks pretty friggin cool. It might be because the color scheme is nearly identical to Liara’s love scene in the first game. Like I said, I have a problem. We see Shepard and Joker enjoying a drink when…
…this fresh faced Alliance officer runs up, claiming that people are trying to kill Shepard.
To which Joker has a snarky comeback. Damnit, Joker… you’re in this trailer for all of five seconds. You couldn’t keep your attitude in check for five seconds? Maybe I’m being a little hard on him, but the truth is, I’ve never forgiven him for getting Shepard killed at the beginning of Mass Effect 2. If he hadn’t decided to throw a big baby poopy diaper temper tantrum at the worst possible moment, Shepard wouldn’t have gotten killed, and all of that Cerberus business would never have happened. So… shut up, Joker.
And by different, she apparently means that they have glowing green eyes, and are big fans of Heath Ledger’s performance in The Dark Knight. They begin gleefully trashing the casino, and Shepard is forced to calmly argue his feelings on the matter.
Nothing ends an argument quicker than an omniblade to the face. While Shepard is trying to save the lives of innocents…
…he finds Joker hiding behind a table. Smooth, Joker. Real smooth. After giving him a withering look, he orders him to round up the rest of the crew.
Seconds later, bullets pierce the glass floor, and Shepard goes tumbling down an enormous illuminated electric razor. Or maybe it’s a billboard. In any case, I’m pretty sure it was Joker who fired the bullets that shattered the floor. But he apparently did something right, because when Shepard ordered him to get the crew together, he got the ENTIRE crew together.
Starting with Wrex! Lookin good, buddy. Have you lost weight? And James Vega. What’s going on, man?
Whoa, whoa, whoa… what’s with the cozy fireside chat with my girl, James? Why don’t you make like a tree, and get the hell off that couch, OK?
And Tali, and… Thane’s son, Kolyat?
And Zaeed Massani?
And Grunt? Crawling on top of the statue commemorating the Krogan victory over the Rachni? Damn. I gotta hand it to Joker. Looks like he’s gotten together everyone who’s ever served on Shepard’s crew, and even some people who haven’t. Good job, Joker. You’re still a jerk.
The final minute of the trailer is almost entirely fanservice, and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. This DLC has been described by Bioware as a “love letter” to the fans, and it seems they’ve gone out of their way to pack it with as many fun and romantic moments as possible. Some of us have known these characters for well over five years now, and getting the chance to go on one last adventure with the ones we’re closest to means a lot. So let’s start the squeeing, shall we?
And Steve Cortez, or who I assume to be Steve Cortez, holding hands with Shepard. I can tell it’s Shepard because that’s totally the sleeve of Shepard’s leather N7 jacket. Details… gotta pay attention to the details.
Everyone hold your squeeing for a moment; we’ve got some plot. Shepard, once again sporting that snazzy jacket, gets a call from the person responsible for all the shenanigans with the green eyed thugs. He mouths off about ruining Shepard, and taking away everything he cares about. Anyway, back to the squeeing. Look at that dress Liara is wearing! I always thought she looked good in white. And what is the Alliance officer from earlier doing there? In a dress that looks painted on?
We then cut to Shepard engaged in either A) an omniblade duel, or B) the most badass brofist ever attempted.
Which leads into… Skycar vs. Normandy. I’m guessing Normandy is gonna win.
Oh God. Oh sweet merciful heaven, I can feel the tears coming.
Kaidan and Shepard sharing another toast. Are those Dos Equis? Kaidan, your taste in beer is as refined as your taste in hairstyles.
Here we have Samantha Traynor. In her underwear. In a hot tub. It would appear as if Bioware has, after years of dogged harassment, given into my demands for a love interest bubble bath DLC. Thank you, Bioware. I knew you’d listen to reason eventually. If I have to settle for a non-bubbled jacuzzi, I guess that will have to do.
And then there’s Ashley Williams. No dress. No hot tub. All she needs to melt Shepard’s heart is a smile and a sultry gaze. Seeing her in the trailer really makes you think about all the time she’s spent with Shepard. The good times, the bad times. The laughter and the heartache. It’s almost enough to make me…
…cry. Yep, I’m crying now. And not just a few tears, either. I’m really crying. Full body heaving sobs. This is it. This is really the end. I’d go into details about the following image, and how it includes a mystery squadmate who might be the Alliance officer from earlier in the trailer, but I can’t see the keyboard through my tears. So you’ll just have to analyse it yourself.
Can you see her? Fourth from the right? That’s gotta be her, right? And now to the last image of the last trailer of the last DLC of the last game to ever star Commander Shepard…
Fittingly, it’s a picture taken by the Commander, of himself with every living squadmate. Without these characters, Shepard would never have been able to accomplish the things he/she did. Together, they saved the galaxy not once, not twice, but three times. They became more than a crew. They became a family, and I can’t imagine a better image to leave this series with, than of them all together one last time.
While I dry my tears, check out the full Mass Effect 3: Citadel trailer below
Citadel will be released March 5th on Xbox 360, PS3, and PC. Remember that for the Xbox 360 versions, two downloads will be needed.