Jen’s Guide to Fangirling
Recently it has occurred to me that I have been guilty of this so called “fangirling” over a great many things video game related. Of course fangirling or fanboying can be done for anything. The amount of Harry Potter and Twilight obsessed folks is proof of that.
Apple groupies, Dr. Who and Star Trek fanatics, we all have our drug of choice. Mine is video games. So I’ll relate a bit of my fangirl experience in this entry. If you want to do it right, there are certain things a fangirl must master.
- Follow as many developers, producers, writers, voice actors, interns, janitors and their spouses as you possibly can on Twitter or Facebook or Google + or whatever you feel is appropriate. Insert yourself into their conversations as often as you can. It is recommended that you ask them probing questions about their upcoming game or personal life and then obsessively watch your twitter feed to see if they have responded at all. This may take up a considerable chunk of your day if you’re not careful. If they respond with anything other than “I am blocking you” you may give yourself one fangirl point.
- If you’re fangirling over a certain company or developer, you need to buy every single game they make, even if it sucks. This is an obligation. If you miss this, you are no longer worthy of fangirl status and you may be shunned in certain circles. That’s right, folks. Every single game. Even all those downloadables that you can barely stomach and were never worth the money (I’m looking at you, Horse Armor and Firewalker).
- The previous is related to the fact that you cannot ever think a game sucks. That would be silly. Oftentimes non-fangirly folk will have complaints about a game – the gameplay is a bit sloppy, the writing is sub par, the graphics are not as dazzling as they would have liked. True fangirls will label these people as “haters” and “trolls” on forums. This is your duty as a fan-girl. All you need to know is that even if a company handed you a turd, an actual turd, you must love it. I hope you are prepared.
- Write fanfiction and do fan art – even if you’re terrible at it. Do this obsessively forsaking all other writing and art projects. You may wish to submit these as a sort of resume to the game company of your choice, who has clearly gone about a certain character wrong and would no doubt be intriqued to hear what kind of insterestng take you have on their creation. Game companies love this. Seriously. And if no one responds to you, just keep sending the same thing over and over. Someone will see it eventually. Dedication, dedication, dedication.
- ‘Ship everything, even crack pairings. You’re not a real fangirl unless you love the idea of two characters you love getting it on or being romantic with each other. The stranger the better. Write slash fiction if you like about Squall and Tifa. It works even if they’re not in the same game.
- Dominate the forums. And I mean dominate. Plaster your avatar on every single topic, every single thread, over and over. After all, you want the developers and game creators to see your opinion and realize how right you are. Not to mention, most other people are wrong about everything so you will have to spend tireless hours speaking in circles in order to get them to listen or get the last word. Don’t give up! Even if you have no real opinion on the subject matter of the thread, always respond. Picture spam or something as simple as “lol fartz” is totally acceptable in this case. It says “I was here.” And that’s important.
- As an addition to your fangirling you may also wish to get tattoos, do cosplay and participate in role playing groups that will disrupt your daily life and sleep patterns. All of these are acceptable and should be worn as a badge of honor among your peers, who are clearly far less of a fan than you are.
I can say that while I have achieved many of these things (or I plan to), I haven’t quite even fully made it to my own definition of fangirl yet, but one can hope. I know several people who have achieved this. I strive to be my best every single day, but it is a difficult and challenging and oftentimes stressful goal. I’m not giving up though, and neither should you!